Fiction or Non-Fiction

I feel as though I am dying in side. My stomach hurts. I can't sleep. Why? It is hard to pin point. I am full of anxiety but it stems from mass insecurities. I dwel and feel low, get stuck in a rut, and then let my mind over take my body. No, this is not a pregnancy issue. The baby is fine and happy - safe in his warm place for now. This is defiantly a work issue. It hurts to be criticized and it is personal... Although it isn't. Funny I can tell my self it isn't personal and that I am ok but I don't believe myself. It seems sad to think that the one person I can always trust to be there for me is Me, but I don't trust that person. I am in survival mode and sad. I dread facing the world so unkind. My husband tries to help but I just can't get my brain wrapped around the idea that my world is ok and I am ok and that people don't hate me. UGH! It is frustrating. My logical sides says that all is well and not to worry but my heart hurts. When my heart hurts my stomach hurts and it seems to go down hill. When things like this have happened before I have a nice big drink. Now, I just want to cry. It just doesn't seem fair. I am doing this to my self... I wish I could stop.